1 Week, 2 Adventures

CONvergence has come and gone and we had a fantastic time. My parents actually came to see what all this nerdy con stuff is about and apparently had a blast. They went to panels, some music shows, and even got in on the cosplay game!

Sarah and I got to perform with both our friends Kayla and Marina at HarmCon, putting together some truly amazing harmonies, parodies, medleys, and a good deal of live snark. Honestly it’s one of the best shows we’ve ever done and I would love to perform with them some more. Also, Sarah made her way to the Late Night Music Circle while I was on shift late on Saturday, and I happened to walk by just as she was starting to sing one of our songs. So I ducked in and sang it with her in a drive-by duet.

For general CVG stuff, I’ve gotten better at keeping my list of the funny moments I want to remember. I don’t want to record them here for lots of reasons, but it makes me happy to know I can look back and remember how I did the best “Not It!” of my life to Ben or giggle about the discovery of the weird snoring noise outside ConSuite (it was a distant party’s music but it did not sound like it). For all the stress leading up to the convention, and for the icky moments that come part and parcel with the rest of it, I truly love the work of volunteering. It makes me a better person and it gives me a chance to do something positive in a world where it sometimes doesn’t feel like any one person can make a difference.

Con is a lot, though, and not just in the packing (look at how Tadashi helps!):

After all that, I needed more than just a week of rest at home. Something about this year’s con kind of wore me out without feeling like a release. I found myself oddly restless afterwards, unsettled and kind of stuffed up in my own head. I always take time off after the convention to recover, but somehow I wasn’t getting back to a point of rest and clarity.

And then Marina and I discovered a local, extremely low-key mud run the Saturday after the convention wrapped up.

For context, we’d done one of these years and years ago, back in 2012. That one was a Warrior Dash race and it genuinely kicked our asses. The race was laid out on a ski resort, so the first tenth of a mile was a run straight up the hill. We didn’t really attempt to run as such, but it still wiped us out and we had to sit in the shade for a while to recover. After that, though, we had a pretty good time climbing over obstacles and helping each other along. We didn’t really try to “race” and we didn’t track how long it took us to complete. We just ran it for fun.

And we’ve always wanted to try another one, albeit one a little less intense.

So early Saturday morning, we found ourselves at the Minnewashta Mud Run outside Chanhassen. It was nothing like the Warrior Dash of 10+ years prior, but it was exactly what I needed.

The course was a mile and a half long, and the obstacles were mostly geared towards kids and families. The tallest of the obstacles was the haystack I nearly fell out of, and most of the over or under type things were just…steppable. But it was glorious.

Marina and I did a light jog for the first lap, following the course at our own pace. It was like a nice walk in the woods with a stop every now and then to wade out into the lake to ring a bell or to crawl through a muddy tunnel. After the first lap, most people stopped, but we decided to keep going. We had plenty of energy and we decided to get some pictures.

We were so clean at the start.

The only problem I had crawling under the netting waws my cute little space buns kept getting caught!

No, I did NOT fall off the haystack. This was a perfectly controlled landing and I definitely didn’t let out a little shriek on the way down!

I’ll be honest, I did not love the tunnel. It was hot and some gravel and rocks had been tracked in there that cut up my forearms a bit. We could have just gone around, especially on the second lap, but I will not be defeated by a tube!

NOW we look properly dirty as we took a moment on the second haystack that I also definitely didn’t fall out of.

By the time we finished the second lap, most people, including the race organizers were gone. They knew we were the last ones (the vast majority of the people who ran only ran once), so it’s not like they abandoned us. They still had snacks and such. But what had been a bustling crowd was now mostly a cleanup crew and normal parkgoers who were very curious about the two muddy women wandering around. Even though Marina and I skipped the obstacle where you could literally swim through a small pool of mud (we learned from Warrior Dash that it is less fun than you’d think to have mud in allllll the places), we were still dirty as hell. We teamed up at the back of one of the cars to strip and put on alternate, non-wet clothing for the drive home. The shirt I wore was beyond saving:

It was exactly what I needed. A walk outside in the sunlight, an adventure, a challenge that made me laugh without pushing me too hard, and a moment to step out of myself and my life completely. For the duration of that muddy walk, I was not just my volunteer self from the convention. I was not just the person at my job, or even at home. For that short moment, I was only and entirely myself giggling my way over a haystack.

Life is too short not to wear the fun cosplay, not to crawl through a tube, not to laugh while changing in a parking lot. Life is too hard not to take a walk on a Saturday morning with mud squishing in your shoes and a branch in your hair. Life is too beautiful not to laugh.

The convention was everything I wanted, and the mud race was what I didn’t know I needed.

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

Ramping up towards adventure

April has been a little on the hectic side. Work is a BEAST right now, I’ll be honest. I’m struggling to keep my head above water most days, and I have to refrain from loudly telling people that it is their fault everything is coming apart. But…that’s just kind of how it goes sometimes. Being in the middle of a process — where you don’t control the timeline or the decisions, but you have to execute on them — is not a fun place to be.

Anyway.

Along the way, I started getting pain in my jaw. Some days it was so bad that chewing anything dense or crunchy was like pinching a bone bruise. I talked to my dentist about it, worried that I had some kind of cavity or abscess or something that would need medical intervention. She took x-rays and did a thorough examination and diagnosed me with……..grinding my teeth in my sleep. Which I’ve kind of always done, but apparently I do a lot more frequently and a lot more forcefully when I’m stressed. So now I have a mouthguard that is like a cross between a retainer and a sports mouthguard that I wear sleeping.

I wish I could tell you that it’s stupid, but honestly? Having it in, I can FEEL my jaw relaxing more easily. And no more pain in the morning. So it feels stupid, but it WORKS.

On a somewhat related note, I’ve also started sleepwalking a bit again. I’ve never done it extensively, but it is something that crops up when I’m stressed. I mostly get confused. For example, I’ve been sharing a bed with Sarah for 20+ years. But when sleepwalking, I’ll wake up and suddenly feel like I need a barrier or something in case I make her uncomfortable on accident, so I’ll put a pillow between us or go get a separate blanket so I’m not snuggling her. Because my sleepwalking brain still feels like I’m sharing a bed the way you do in a hotel with friends, when you legit might not want to invade their privacy. Sarah thinks its funny. I feel dumb that my sleepwalking brain is 20+ YEARS behind on the relationship front.

Anyway again.

In an effort to deal with the stress, Sarah and I are trying to take more walks any time I can spare an hour out of my day. We’ve been spending a lot of time in Hidden Falls park in St Paul because we only have to drive a short way but then have extensive trails along the river to walk. It’s actually really lovely. Sarah has a bird app so we can listen to birdcalls and identify them. And the hidden falls that are the park’s namesake is a very peaceful spot whether the water is high or low. Going all the way there and walking for a mile or more is kind of an ordeal, so we don’t get out more than once a week. But even that is helping.

The only other update, and it’s an exciting one, is that we’ve settled (mostly) our set list for our performance at CONvergence this year, and we’re adding 2 friends into the mix! We’ve sung in various ways with Kayla and Marina before, but mostly in choral settings. This time, they’re lending harmonies and instrumental accompaniment to our set and I am STOKED. I have a little more work to do to finalize one of the funny ones I put together, but I feel so great being able to share this with them. We’ve been friends for ~25 years now, and being able to put together 4 part harmonies with them is genuinely life-affirming and soul-fulfilling.

It’s not really counteracting the stress very much because performing and arranging songs and practicing is its own stress, but it is a happy and healthy stress and I’ll take it!

So that’s where we are for now.

May looks to be very, very exciting with 2, count ’em TWO roadtrips — one for work, and one for fun. Plus finalizing all the cosplay for con!

But more on those later!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: Here’s to Us

Halestorm is an AMAZING band and I have all the envious feelings about Lzzy Hale’s voice.  Seriously.  She is a powerhouse of awesome and talent.

Especially the more Sarah and I have gotten into our volunteering with Operations at CONvergence, though, this song has a lot more meaning for us.  Because when it comes to amount of work people put in to make CVG go, the time and effort and stress being shared by a hundred leaders and a thousand volunteers — it is EPIC.  But it isn’t just the volunteers or leaders.  It’s all the geeks and nerds and dorks gathered together, having survived another year in a world of muggles where we are the outsiders and the outcasts and the strange ones.  It’s all of us who get to celebrate our oddities together at CONvergence and, for one weekend, get to be ourselves in a world where that isn’t always easy.  All of us deserve to be toasted, deserve to sing out together about all the mistakes and bad times and good times and awesome moments of triumph and just enjoy having gotten this far together.

Here’s to us, CONvergence.

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: CONvergence Races

Every year, CONvergence has a theme which gets worked into the art and panel discussions and such, and for 2016 it was “And how do we get there?”  So I decided to do an appropriate song.  Connie and Mark 2 are some of the mascots of CONvergence, and I thought as space-age robots themselves, they might enjoy a little competition amongst the best in the universe.  The poster Sarah and I created to advertise our show had a bunch of space-faring vessels racing, mostly because I wrote this song.

Here’s the poster:

Funny story about the poster — the person who helped me with it placed the ships randomly.  But she’d never seen Babylon 5, and didn’t know what the Minbari war cruiser was, nor how it worked (it’s the one in the bottom right of the image).  So, originally, she put it on there backwards, turned the other way.  This made me laugh SO HARD because it looked like the Minbari had taken one glance at this ridiculous space race and did the Minbari equivalent of “On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.” and left.

Funny story about the song — yes, we reference the end of the movie Serenity.  SPOILER ALERT: WASH DIES.  It’s been 15 years, folks.  But we still got somebody in the back yelling “Too soon!” at that verse.  Oh well.  We also got some serious groaning for our crack at The Doctor’s nose.

I ALMOST put a joke on the end that the prize was “an extra hour in the ball pit.”  Points if you know the reference!

(But you’re here, reading my blog, so you probably do.  Or you’re a bot.  But not as cool as Connie or Mark 2.)

(All hail!)

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: Yoru no Uta

This is a song I stole from an anime I absolutely adore and I don’t give even one shit, let alone two, that it’s for little girls under the age of 12.  Nope.  Don’t care.  Just like I don’t care that I love ninja turtles or anything else.  Cardcaptor Sakura has a lot to offer in it, even to a grown up woman.  The characters are outstanding, the character development is superb and subtle and utterly charming, and the life lessons help when sometimes you need to be reminded that you can handle what life throws at you.

I sing a lot of Japanese songs from anime, actually.  Basically any anime that gives me music I like, I’ll eventually learn to sing in full.  And if there’s a dance involved, I learn that, too — notably, I’ve mastered the dance to “Seikan Hikou” from Macross Frontier.  Which I have NOT recorded, thank you very much, but I can dance it!

Part of the reason we programmed this song was that I wanted something gentle to follow “Jagged,” something soothing but that would also give people the chance to think and feel before I asked them to really listen again.  Singing in a foreign language is good for that sort of thing.  Sarah wasn’t overwhelmingly happy that I programmed it because the guitar part didn’t exist anywhere in any form she could use, so she had to make it up off the audio track directly.  But I love what she did with it.  I only wish it weren’t quite so weirdly complicated and she could sing the harmony with me!

This is the basic translation to the Japanese verses:

In the night sky, they twinkle
The far stars of gold
The same color as the small bird
That looked up in my dream last night

In the sleepless night,
I sing this song alone
Together with the blowing wind,
I fly riding on my thoughts

In the night sky, it sparkles
The distant moon of silver
The same color as the wild rose
That was blooming in my dream last night

In the gentle night,
I sing this song alone
Let me sing with you tomorrow
Riding the wings of our dreams

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: Jagged

Truthfully, I’m not sure I can talk about this song.  There’s too much in it.  Too much of me and my hurts and Sarah and hers.  Sarah wrote it for me in June 2002, and no matter what, it will always hold truth for both of us.  And I think it is possibly the finest thing she has ever written.  The lyrics still bite down into me and surprise me and I’ve been singing this song for 15 years.

This song is one we dedicate to friends and strangers, depending on the day.  Today, I’m dedicating it to you, if you need it.  I don’t know who you are or what you’re going through or how life has treated you.  I don’t know if these words are imprinted on your soul the way they were or are on mine.

And I’m not trying to be pithy and I’m not trying to be insincere.

But, honestly — if you need it, if you need someone who’s been there…

I give you my love
And hope that it will be enough.

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: Binary/Shenandoah

I don’t think I can overstate how meaningful this song is to Sarah and I.  Originally we wrote it for our wedding and just called it “Binary.”  Later, when we were gigging with Beth Kinderman, we wanted to do a cover of Shenandoah and realized they were in the same key and sort of slotted them together.  And that only gave the song more meaning.

There’s a lot in here that just IS my relationship with Sarah.  “The inevitable draw of gravity’s pull” sums things up fairly well.  We met one day and were friends soon after and became thereby inextricably bound.  Sarah is essential to me, to my life, and the pull that is between us is far stronger than any gravity you could name.  And I think we knew, even then at the start, that there was an inevitability to us, that whatever path we took in life or whatever happened, we were going to be there beside each other.

We really are a binary system, in orbit around one another, and the only end for us was to become one stable unit.  You can’t measure me without her, or her without me.  We can’t BE without the other.  And, in the end, if and when we go down, we’ll go down together.  Because I became who I am with her, and she became herself with me.  The me that exists now only exists because of her.

Also, yay for a song where I got to talk about quantum particles!

The line “It is said that we’re all a soul split in two and fallen from space” actually comes from an oversimplification of a story from Plato about the first humans.  The myth was that the first humans were created by splitting a prior being with a whole bunch of extra limbs and bits in half, and that those halves would search for each other in order to find true peace.  And there is something, well, not literal, but something to the idea that I, at least, spent all of my life before Sarah looking for Sarah.  Looking exactly for her, in every way.  She’s exactly 5 weeks and 12 hours older than me, and we joke that because I’m younger I was clearly born into the world already waiting for her to find me.

But it wasn’t always easy.  There were lots of things that made life difficult.  When not at college, we were physically divided by distance.  Either way, we were navigating being with a person of the same gender in a society that was not always friendly (and sometimes was downright hostile), and that was very painful for us.  And we both sometimes suffer with depression or anxiety, in different ways, and that made it feel like we were together, but separated by a great chasm or a pane of glass that kept us from being able to reach one another.

“Shenandoah” started as our song about being parted by the river, about not being together in the same state during school vacations.  But it became about all the things in the world that threatened what we had found.  It was about being pulled apart by forces not under our control, either internal or external.  About inevitably knowing that we would be separated again, that days would come when we couldn’t find one another through the haze of our brains being unkind.  That we would spend our lives sometimes right next to one another, and yet very alone.

But in the end, neither of us is going anywhere.  In the end, “I’ll take my love across your rolling waters.”  In the end, we’ll carry each other through those tough times.  In the end, whatever the future brings, we’ll walk into it together, side by side.

Wherever Sarah is for the rest of her days, I will be standing there.

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: Love Shall Not Fail

This was a duet we wrote for a wedding back in 2007.  It was written for the same friend who wrote the lyrics for “The Nerd Song,” Steven Henry.  With the help of someone who knows Lord of the Rings WAY better than I ever could, we pinned down a few lines of dialogue between Eowyn and Faramir as the basis for the lyrics.

Of course, the effect IS somewhat ruined by opening with the word “Precious” but…uh…

Nope.  I’m still not sorry.  That was too good a fix for the gendered bit not to use.

Funnily enough, this is one song in my high register that I think DOES work over a microphone, but it’s because I’m not trying to sing folk or pop — I’m using my classical tone.

I think it’s weird that a lot of people really like this song and I find it kind of meh.  Maybe that’s just me not being overly happy with the girl’s part.  Eowyn is a great character, but the whole “now I’mma go be a healer when I used to be a badass” just isn’t a choice I could make for myself.  The womanly arts are boring.  Nobody wants to say it, but I’ll tell it like it is.  Being a champion is more fun.

I do like the musical lines of this one, though, and I LOVE Sarah’s part.

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: Waltz of the Wallflowers

This is one of my favorite cover songs to perform with Sarah.  Absolutely, positively, hands down, even when she’s not a dragon.  The back-and-forth is super hard to master, but it is SO WORTH IT.  The original was by a pair called Small Potatoes and I will be forever grateful to them for writing this gem and putting it out into the world.

When Sarah and I practice this one, I try REALLY hard to crack her up.  Sometimes it works.

Also, since I haven’t made note of it yet — the Nausicaa cosplay was AMAZING to wear, but very, very warm.  And slightly awkward to move in because it kept riding up and I kept thinking people were going to be able to see my butt.  I worry about things like that.  (Sarah was not nearly as warm being Haku, in spite of wearing about 6 layers.  Hers was entirely linen.  I was not so fortunate.)

There is a part of this song we swap and I take the harder part and add it to my character just because I’m not also playing guitar and trying to keep track of things.  It just means I get to spout EVEN MORE WORDS going REALLY FAST!

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

CONvergence 2016: Fairytale

This was one of the very first songs Sarah and I ever recorded for YouTube.  “Fairytale” came about because Sarah’s sister asked us to perform a song for her wedding in the summer of 2012.  She basically told us she wanted a love song that had some fantasy or nerdy elements to it, and described relationships like Han and Leia or Harry and Ginny.  Well, we certainly weren’t going to let her down, which led to the pop-iest of our pop love songs.

I’m actually really fond of this one — except when Sarah starts it too fast and I can’t breathe in the last chorus.  I like that we wrote a love song that’s about laughter and in-jokes and the awe of being together.  There’s a lot of Sarah-and-I in this one, which, okay, was probably inevitable.  We only really know one love story and that’s the one we’re IN, so…

When we wrote this one for Melissa and Matt, we put some gendered terms in like “king and queen” or “prince and princess” which made it slightly problematic for us in this set.  Especially at CONvergence, being gender-inclusive is really important, and that includes non-binary gender.  What’s funny to me is that if you asked me to choose between being a “king” or a “queen” just given how they are perceived, the stereotypes, etc, I’d rather be a king.  Similarly I’d rather be the courageous prince doing the rescuing than the princess being rescued.

(Yes, we’re getting more movies about badass princesses rescuing themselves or, shockingly, not needing to be rescued at all, and YAY, but stereotypes are stereotypes and they’re not changing any time soon.)

Anyway.  Here’s our happily-ever-after love song, written for the real-life story of my sister-in-law and my now brother-in-law, who really are heroes every single day.

*Please note that this entry has been backdated.  Basically, the summer got completely away from me AND I lost access to posting on the site from the reliable computer I’d been using — and posting via smartphone is not as elegant as it sounds.  So, to make up for it, I’ve retroactively put this entry here.  Hopefully this won’t become an annual trend!

twitter
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmail